Never get angry, even with someone who has deliberately and maliciously harmed you. You should be grateful to such a person for helping you to purify past negative actions, to increase your determination to be free from samsara and to develop love and compassion. ~ Kyabje Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche
I will say this is such great and true advice. Yet I cannot say I never get angry….but I do have less ‘reasons’ for anger which I attribute to reducing my ‘self’/ego.’
Suffering, in fact, can be helpful in many ways. It spurs your motivation and as many teachings point out, without suffering there would be no determination to be free from samsara. Sadness is an effective antidote to arrogance. ~ Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche
To bring about a true change in your attitudes is hard at first. But if you understand the meaning behind this mind training, and keep on trying to apply it, you will find that it helps you in every difficult situation, just as a well-designed vehicle can travel any distance quickly with ease. ~ Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche
When someone harms you, see that person as a kind teacher showing you the path to liberation. Pray that you may be able to help that person and never hope for revenge.
Look right into it, and you will see that the person who is harmed, the person who does the harm, and the harm itself are all totally devoid of any inherent reality. Faced with these empty appearances, is there anything to be lost or gained? It is all like an empty sky. Recognize that!
As long as you pay heed to your hatred and attempt to overcome your external opponents, even if you succeed, more will inevitably rise up in their place. Even if you managed to overpower everyone your anger would only grow stronger. The only really intolerable enemy is hatred itself. To defeat the enemy of hatred, meditate one-pointedly on patience and love until they truly take root in your being. ~ Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche
It is important to be free from clinging to the true existence of things. Otherwise, the mind will make distinctions -between good experiences and bad ones, such as afflictive emotions and suffering. You should reach the state in which the mind is unconcerned by good and bad thoughts, like someone who has caught a disease and, having now recovered from it, is no longer concerned about that disease ~ Kyabje Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche
Recognize the Void
In truth, the notion of self we attach to the aggregates is a mere mental fabrication, a label put on something that does not exist. People who wear tinted glasses or suffer from a visual impairment would see a white conch as yellow, even though the conch has never been anything but white. In the same way, our deluded minds attribute reality to something that is utterly nonexistent.
This is what we call ignorance: not recognizing the void nature of phenomena and assuming that phenomena possess the attribute of true existence although, in fact, they are devoid of it. With ignorance comes attachment to all that is pleasant to the ego as well as hatred and repulsion for all that is unpleasant. In that way the three poisons—ignorance, attachment, and hatred—come into being. Under the influence of these three poisons, the mind becomes like a servant running here and there. This is how the suffering of samsara is built up. It all derives from a lack of discernment and a distorted perception of the nature of phenomena.
Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche, “An Investigation of the Mind.”