“The fourth reminder is to awaken lovingkindness. This is the ability to bring nonjudgmental awareness from the heart to the unwanted aspects of “me.”
This reminder can’t be overemphasized. It’s so natural to want to confirm what is most negative about ourselves that we don’t even think about activating compassion or kindness.
In fact, much of the heaviness of our distress comes from the belief that we should be different.
Especially after practicing for a few years, we think we shouldn’t still be so reactive. We think we should be beyond our conditioning. But practice doesn’t work that way.
Yet when we soften our self-judgment with lovingkindness, the sense of drama and heaviness lightens considerably. ” ~ Bursting the Bubble of Fear by Ezra Bayda (Tricycle article) Please read the entire article here . It is well worth your time, at least in my opinion.
I chose this quote because it brought to mind recent conversations. Some of the conversations were with friends and family and some were within myself.
Being gentle & loving with ourselves …we can be gentle & loving with others.
Namaste and Enjoy your moments!
Genuine compassion is based not on our own projections and expectations, but rather on the rights of the other. ~ His Holiness The 14th Dalai Lama
“Thank you for the great post.
Yes, for a long time now, we just say whatever…and do not think that our words take root in someone’s mind…well, folks words hurt or heal.
Somewhere along the path of this very perturbed individual, someone’s words hit a mark in him…gave him a reason to focus his violent thoughts into a target.
And now…we have a sad and horrible situation. Of which no one wants to take responsibility of creating because …’they are only words, no one would possibly think to do anything violent’….as PM says….use your words ‘like a big boy/girl’ …all of our words matter….if they did not matter why would we use them?
May all sentient beings be happy and have the causes of happiness.
May all sentient beings be free from suffering and the causes if suffering.
May all sentient beings never be separated from the happiness that is free from suffering.
May all sentient beings abide in equanimity, free attachment and detachment.”
Even our physical structure seems more suited to feelings of love and compassion. We can see how a calm, affectionate, wholesome state of mind benefits our health and physical well-being. Conversely, feelings of frustration, fear, agitation, and anger can be destructive to our health. This is why we are impelled to seek happiness. ~ His Holiness The 14th Dalai Lama
Sometimes we have been holding onto anger or bitterness related to a particular person or event.
Something to think about is: What would I have to give up in order to free myself from this bitterness? We might think, “Well, yes, but what he or she did was absolutely unforgivable.”
Consider the possibility, and I am only saying consider the possibility, that maybe nothing is unforgivable. Maybe there is a way to find forgiveness even for what we have believed for so long to be unforgivable. Explore this mindfully.
To forgive does not necessarily mean to forget. Sometimes to forget is not wise, but to forgive is wise. And it is at times not easy. It can, in fact, be quite challenging.
It will come as no surprise that one of the most difficult people to forgive can be yourself. Yet with patience and gentle determination, it can be done. ~ Allan Lokos
Hatred, jealousy and excessive attachment cause suffering and agitation. I feel compassion can help us overcome these disturbances and let us return to a calm state of mind. Compassion is not just being kind to your friend. That involves attachment because it is based on expectation. Compassion is when you do something good without any expectations – based on realizing that “the other person is also just like me.” ~ His Holiness The 14th Dalai Lama